Friday Confessional: The shameful fast food one

Friday confessionals are tough to write.  They’re embarrassing and sometimes agonizing and I’ve been avoiding them for a few weeks.  If you’re wondering why I do it at all, here’s a link to my first Friday confessional. 

Today I will recall my painful fast food past.  I visited drive thru windows way, way too often.  No, really.  Way too often.  This is the confessional I’ve been avoiding most of all.  Even my husband doesn’t know how often I would do it.  During the work week I would eat some sort of fast food nearly every day.  On particularly busy days I’d drive thru for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Sometimes (no, let’s be brutally honest, it was more than sometimes, it was many times) I would order more than one meal.   And even though I wouldn’t want two drinks, I’d order two drinks (usually white milk and diet coke...I know, right?  Diet coke) so the drive thru people wouldn’t know the whole order was just for me.   Am I really telling you this stuff?  Crap.  I am.  This is one hell of a shameful admission.

 I know there are other obese people out there who are doing the same thing.  The drive through is so easy.  So anonymous.  You drive up; speak to the friendly, faceless voice; order your meal (or meals); drive to the window; smile as if you’re not up to something; take the food; find and hiding place and secretly pig-out.   The garbage would go into a public trash can wherever I was eating.  Hide the evidence.  Nobody...NObody...knows (until now) that I did this. 

When I think about it now I feel sick.   It was so much food.  So much bad, greasy, fattening, mega-calorie food.  I can never, ever, ever go back to that.  Never!!

Fast food has changed a great deal since McDonalds first opened in my town in the 70s.  Portion sizes are way out of control.  What they now serve as medium fries and medium soda is the same (or larger?) than large fries and sodas of my childhood.  And the large sodas?  Have you seen the size of them? Who needs that much sugary soda in one sitting?  It’s crazy.  (For the record, I don’t enjoy regular soda.  It’s too syrupy-tasting for me.) 

But, on the other hand, and to their benefit, fast food chains have also recognized the wants and needs of waistline watchers and added healthier choices to their menus.  

For example, at McDonalds:  

One chicken fajita (which I order now and love) is only 200 calories and 5g of fat.  One grilled (not crispy) spicy buffalo chicken snack wrap (also a personal favourite) is 220 calories and 7g of fat.  Not bad, right?  Especially when you compare it to the big mac with 540 calories and 29g of fat or the angus burger with cheese and bacon which has a whopping 770 calories and 45g of fat!

At Wendys:

The two items I ordered most often at Wendy’s were the spicy chicken sandwich (450 calories, 16g of fat)  or the double baconator (hang on for this one) with 990 calories and 63g of fat!   Far better choices include the ultimate chicken grill sandwich (which is delicious!) with 360 calories and 7g of fat, a sour cream and chives baked potato with 350 calories and 6g of fat or a small chilli with 220 calories and 7g of fat. 

So fast food can be done.  The restaurants’ websites have nutritional information so you can plan your meal before you go.  

Do I still go to fast food restaurants?  I have a nine year old son, so yes.  However I know what I’m ordering before we walk in (or drive thru) and I order without even looking at or being tempted by the mouth-watering photos on the menu.  Actually, it’s interesting how, now, the photos are so much less appealing now that I understand what I’m eating. 

Goal update: The Complex membership

We went to register for our gym membership at Canada Games Complex on Saturday.  Unfortunately, we got there at 3:30 and the registration desk closed at 3.  (We didn't know!!) We still went in, though.  Ed worked out on the bike and treadmill while Coby and I went to play in the pool.  We'll head back this week to officially sign up for our memberships.  So my goal for this week remains the same, sign up for a gym membership and start going.

Wednesday Weigh-In: Lost the Christmas Five

Remember that five pounds I gained over the holidays?  It’s one week later and they’re gonzo.   

This week I learned a great lesson.  In the past if I was on a “diet” I would tell myself to enjoy the holidays then get back on track in the New Year, but afterwards the weight gain (even though I expected it) would dishearten me and I’d give up.  This year I told myself, very strictly, that I would not give in to discouragement.  I enjoyed the holidays in every way (see aforementioned 5 pound gain), but then dropped the extra weight in just one week.  I did it!  Surprisingly, it wasn’t even too hard.  I went back to eating leaner food in regular portions.   I also had a couple of glasses of wine and two chocolate chip cookies during the week, but the weight still came off.   Real life.  I needn’t sacrifice.  Eat a cookie one day, don’t eat a cookie the next, just like my regular sized friends would do. 

And that’s a great tip if you, fellow blogger, are trying to lose weight, too.  Study your regular sized friends and do what they do. 

Overweight women feel humiliated every day?

Working in radio, Eddy gets his hands on all sorts of stories from around the world, including lifestyle stories like one he told me about yesterday.  He said a recent survey showed that overweight women feel humiliated at least five times per day.  Humiliated.   Five times each day.  This makes me so sad.  They feel humiliated several times per day because of weight.  Is this how most overweight people feel?  I’ve had low moments (see any Friday confessional), but most days I feel happy and confident in spite of my weight.  I'm fat.  I'm aware it's true.  But, it doesn’t make me a bad person.  It makes me overweight.  That’s all.  I’d feel a great deal worse if someone said, “She’s stupid.”  Overweight seems much easier to fix than stupidity.

Here’s a link to the story.

I’m curious to know what others think.  If you struggle with weight, would you use a word as strong as humiliated to describe how you feel?  And do you feel humiliated as many as five times each day?

On New Year’s resolutions and a holiday recap

Cheers to 2011!

I pondered a handful of options for a good new year’s resolution but ultimately decided to not make a specific pledge for 2011.  I sort of already did it in September when I started The Mambo Project, a resolution for my lifetime, not just a single year.  Also, New Year’s resolutions have that annoying stigma, the negative assumption that they will always be broken.  I don’t want the pressure. 

I will, however, positively continue with my monthly and weekly Mambo Project goals throughout 2011 and beyond.  I will achieve my lifetime resolution in small manageable steps.

In January I will join a gym.  We have a wonderful local facility called The Canada Games Complex which was built for the 1981 Canada Games hosted by my city.  The Complex, as it is known locally, has a huge larger-than-Olympic sized pool, equipment galore, squash courts, exercise classes, an indoor track, access to trainers and more.  My parents (God bless them) have generously offered to pay for the entire first year of a family membership for Eddy, Coby and me.  They know exactly how important The Mambo project is to all three of us. So...   

Goal for the first week of 2011:  Buy a complex membership and start using it.

Relaxing my typical food rules during the holidays was nice.  I ate what I wanted and sipped a few vodka & cranberries with absolutely no guilt.  I did not over eat.  I ate normal-person portions, balancing rich holiday favourites (like tourtière, a French Canadian meat pie) with lots of veggies on the side.  I wasn’t trying to lose weight. I was just trying to eat like a normal person. 

I didn’t do any Christmas baking.  I didn’t want it in my house, staring at me, tempting me.  I ate one or two bits of baking (as an average-sized person would) when I attended Christmas events, like Coby’s Christmas concert at school. 

Next week on Wednesday when I step on my scale I expect to find that I have maintained, or, at worst, gained one or two pounds, which, as I have said before, is a fair price to pay for a good celebration because this, after all, is real life.

From my family to yours, my friends and fellow bloggers, I wish you a very Happy New Year.  And if you’re on a similar quest for a healthier life, Happy New YOU.

Christmas party, weigh-in day and realistic holiday goals

Here we are on our way to Ed's Christmas party

On Saturday we went to Ed’s station’s Christmas party.  My night-long smile was not because of the good food or the music or the wine.  I smiled because earlier that day, while selecting my party clothes, I was slipping into pants and skirts I haven’t worn for many, many years.   I’m still the fat chick in the photo (albeit not as fat a chick as I was three months ago!) so none of my options were particularly sexy, but I sure as hell felt sexy in them.  

Today was Wednesday Weigh-In Day and I hopped on my scale with true enthusiasm.  I maintained.  Works for me!  Maintaining through the holidays is a realistic and obtainable goal and I recommend it to anyone.  It’s so much less stressful than saying “I will lose weight during the holidays”.  I don’t want to say no to all the delicious food and drinks during the holidays.  At parties and dinners I will enjoy my favourites in moderation, just like my average-sized friends do.   I’ve watched them for years.  I know their habits and learning to live them.   Real life.

Oh, and another reason I was so smiley at Ed’s Christmas party?  The chairs that were painfully (literally, painfully) too tight for me at the same venue two years ago?   The identical chairs gave my butt just enough room this year.   Yeah.  It was a big smile.

Wednesday Weigh-In (on Thursday morning)

A short scale-fear recap:  I have not stepped on the scale for nearly exactly one month.  Following my thyroidectomy my weight fluctuated a bit and seeing a gain after 7 days of healthy eating totally got me down.  I had been reading on-line testimonials from others who had their thyroids removed and most of the news wasn’t great.  Nearly every person gained weight.  One even gained 30 pounds.  Man, if I gained 30 pounds (nearly everything I’d lost) after all my hard work I would be wrecked emotionally. Fearing the psychological ramifications of more gains and disappointments I decided to keep off the scale until I felt strong enough, mentally. 

There are some who may think I did the wrong thing and should have stepped on the scale anyway, but for me, major disappointments drive me to ice cream and slabs of cheese.   I could not take the risk.  If I didn’t step on the scale I could assume I was losing weight.  After all, I was eating well so I should be losing weight.

Today I was up earlier than usual, feeling confident and brave.  I decided to do it.  Before I could change my mind I stepped on the scale and since November 17^th I am down 12 more pounds.  That is now a total of (drum roll, please) 40 pounds lost! 

Obviously I’m thrilled with the number, but I am even more jubilant knowing that I am mastering normal eating.  My lifelong poor eating habits are changing.  My life is changing.